My grandfather passed away at 4 am yesterday morning. His name is Loward Denny Sparks. People called him “L.D.” for short. He was a very tall man, probably 6’4”, weighed 268 lbs. and he had heart problems. He has had open heart surgery in the past among other procedures. For anyone who went to my wedding, he was the one wearing a suit along with a cowboy hat and boots. Everyone wanted to know who he was. That is the type of presence he had in the room.
He started going down hill this past week and refused to be treated. My dad and uncle flew out to be with him on Friday. My uncle has shared the gospel with my grandfather and again, this weekend, reiterated the message of the cross. We hope that his conversion was real but as with any person accepting Jesus right before they die, it’s simply hard to say.
My grandpa’s wishes were that his body be cremated and his remains scattered into the Mississippi River. There will be no grave. When I heard this news, I broke down. You see, I was not very close to my grandfather and I hardly ever saw him but once a year since he lives half-way across the country. When he died yesterday morning, I had a hard time processing it. “Really,” I thought, “My grandpa is really dead?” To me he is still that grandpa who lives in that state so far away. It doesn’t seem as if he is dead.
The last time I saw him was, well, I can’t even remember. According to my uncle, it has been at least two years. And now I will never see him again. The truth is I am more than a little upset that my dad is going to cremate my grandpa.
There is a certain closure that comes from seeing your deceased love one in a casket prepared for burial. And when they are lowered into their final resting place, you know that you can go and visit them anytime you want. Will you go visit their tombstone? Maybe, maybe not. But if you decide you want to bring flowers to set on their grave in honor of their memory, at least you get the option.
My grandfather’s wishes may have been to be cremated. And I’m sure my dad thinks he is doing the right thing to honor those wishes. However, my grandfather is dead! He doesn’t have to deal with his death anymore! We, his family on the other hand, do have to deal with his death. And we will have to continue dealing in the many months and even years to come.
Where are we supposed to go visit my grandpa? At the Mississippi river?! And where will he be? The truth is he’ll be no where. His body will have ceased to exist on this earth.
