Children of a Living God

Sometimes I ask God, “Why do You love me?” I ask Him this because it blows my mind that a perfect, holy, sovereign Person could love someone like me. I am selfish, an idolater, a hypocrite. I lie. I am a murderer, a respecter of persons, an adulterer. What did Jesus say? If I have broken the law in just one point, I have transgressed the entire law. And it is so true. I am inefficient, absent-minded, and undisciplined. Forget undisciplined—I am just downright lazy. I am arrogant, stuck-up, prideful, conceited. I am defensive, quick to become angry, and slow to admit when I am wrong. I am hateful and a murmurer. I am all these things and more and yet, He loves me. WHY?!

And He asked me, “Why do you love your children?” Mmm. Talk about a lynchpin. God loves me because I am His child. In fact, He loves me even more than I could love my own children because His love is perfect. Though my children make mistakes and though, at times, they are rebellious to my authority, I still love them. Though sometimes my children upset me and say things that hurt and disappoint me, I still love them. When my children make bad decisions (and, let’s face it, sometimes they screw up royally), yet I love them. They are mine. Their very mannerisms and quirks reflect me. Their DNA is laced with my own. They are a part of me; I cannot disavow them. To do so would be to reject a part of myself. It is the same with God. We are a part of Him. He has made us in His own image! We reflect Him, the Sovereign God of the universe! Can I just say, HALLELUJAH!

Before my children were born, before they were even conceived in my womb, I looked forward to their birth. I anticipated their existence. I couldn’t wait to have children. Before my kids were, I loved them. It is the same with God and us. Before we ever existed in our mother’s womb, He loved us. He looked forward to our arrival. He couldn’t wait to create us, His children. The bible even says that before He formed us in the womb, He knew us (Jeremiah 1:5).

What would I do for my children? Almost anything I would do for my children I can parallel with that which God, our Father, would do (and does) for us. I teach my children and discipline them when they go astray. I nurture my children; I make sure they eat properly. I keep my children clean and clothed. I don’t buy my children everything they want because I know it is not good for them to have all that they want; however, occasionally, when I know there is something that they would really like to have, I give it to them. I give it to them because it blesses my heart to see them happy. I want my children to be happy. When my children are sick, I nurse them back to health. Whenever my children are in pain, I am in pain. I would gladly take their pain unto my self and bear it for them—gladly. I would even die for them. So great is my love for my children. And so great is God’s love for us. He does all these things for us and more.

We are greatly blessed with God as our Father. A better father cannot be found anywhere, not even in the imagination. Paralleling my relationship to my children with God’s relationship to His children gives a whole knew meaning to the verse, “We love because He first loved us.” 1 John 4:19

The Adventures of Wormwartt cont...

Wormwartt pounded his fist into the side of the tall black book shelf that lined Mike’s office and slid down to sit in the corner that it formed with the wall. His face contorted in sullen anger, he mulled over the consequences the skinny twirp should suffer for the blow he had previously inflicted. It being the lunch-hour, Wormwartt had plenty of time to think it over. After all, Mike was off eating lunch with that other chump, David. Wormwartt scowled at the thought. He could not stand David! He was just as bad as Mike—just as sickeningly nice and clean and well-kept (gag him)! That’s OK. At least he was in the other room—most of the time.

What to do to Mike…hmm. He could do the usual moving around of items on Mike’s desk to make him think that someone had come into his office, but no (sigh)—that just didn’t seem mean enough. Hmm. Wormwartt, starting to get bored of all this thinking, began to chip away at some paint that was peeling just behind the book shelf. His scaly fingernails dug into the paint and dug and dug.

Slowly, an evil grin began to spread across Wormwartt’s face. He started digging faster and faster. Finally he stopped when the hole was just the perfect size. Wormwartt stood back to admire his work and crossed his arms in satisfaction. Now all he had to do was find some mice…

The Perils of Winter are not over

Well, our house is, once again, under the cover of sickness. I have a sore throat, cough, and both my ears ache. Logan has a cough and Job has a cold. When, oh when, is it going to end? Mike also has a cold but he and Job aren't as bad as the rest of us...yet. I say this because I have had this thing for 10 days and it took a turn for the worse last night.

So, what it all comes down to is that once again we must skip church and be cooped up inside and not be able to go anywhere. It's like being jailed or something and to be quite honest, I hate it. Hate it, hate it, HATE IT. I guess I really shouldn't be complaining. It could always be worse. I could be really sick and so could the boys. Well, gotta go. If I'm going to be stuck inside my house all day and all weekend, it is at least going to be a clean house!

River Phoenix

I was on Facebook today and stumbled upon a group entitled “You know you grew up in the 90’s if…” or something like that. One of the “ifs” was you remember when River Phoenix, Tu Pac, and Selena died. Well, I grew up in the 90’s and I don’t remember when any of them died. However, I have heard of River Phoenix before and his name caught my eye. So I googled his name.

His story is a sad one for sure. He was the oldest of five children. Joaquin Phoenix, who played the evil Caesar in “Gladiator,” is his younger brother. River’s parents were involved in a cult called Children of God: The Family. It is rumored that for a time, the group promoted sexual conduct between adults and children. It is also supposed, based on brief comments made by River Phoenix, that he was sexually abused when he was a child and most likely by a person belonging to this cult. Now, please keep in mind, that everything I am telling you here is based on what I have read off the internet and of course, could all be not true. However, I believe it is true and I will tell you why.

River Phoenix led a pretty clean life up until the point where he overdosed on drugs at the age of 23, I believe it was. Family and friends began to notice changes in Phoenix. I don’t remember what the website said those were, but it seemed to indicate that they were for the worse. Phoenix had always been a humble sort of person and reserved and deeply devoted to such things as saving the rainforest. Not long after his conservative countenance changed found him doing drugs in the bathroom of Johnny Depp’s nightclub called The Viper. He was in the bathroom with other drug users and drug dealers and his overdose was due to an intake of multiple drugs including heroin, cocaine and methamphetamines.

As I read this man’s biography, a feeling of depression and dark gloom settled over me. What happened to River Phoenix was a tragedy for sure and one of the darkest kinds. This young man was most likely abused when he was but a young child. This affected him in such a way as left great cracks in his healthy human heart. No human being could respond well to such abuse—it is the flaw of our flesh. Someone, involved in a cult (that very much resembles fundamental Christianity), by sexually abusing a young child put a major stumbling block in his path. What’s that verse? “But whoever causes one of these little ones who believe in Me to stumble, it is better for him that a heavy millstone be hung around his neck, and that he be drowned in the depth of the sea.” Matthew 18:6

This sexual abuse left deep cracks in the heart of this young man that may not have been readily seen due to his “squeaky clean” rep; however, his demise reflects the gross emptiness inside. And I can assure you (and would even be willing to bet money) that demonic forces were at work in the belly of Johnny Depp’s club that night. I could easily picture the numerous demons whispering into Mr. Phoenix’s ears through the tongues of drug dealers and his own thoughts rooting him on toward death. The heart of God was grieved deeply that night as one of His creation was lost to the spiritual forces darkness.

Now you may think that I am being wildly exuberant and overly liberal in my rendition of what happened to this young man. While all my facts may not be entirely accurate as it is hard to know for sure if the information that online websites present is as such, it does not matter. There was a deep hurting in the heart of River Phoenix and God Himself will see to it that justice is paid to the one who caused it. “Woe to the world because of its stumbling blocks! For it is inevitable that stumbling blocks come; but woe to that man through whom the stumbling block comes!” Matthew 18:7

Running and Getting up early

I have to get up early in order to run before my husband leaves for work in the morning. Well, lately I’ve been praying for the Lord to help me get up early because it is really hard to get up at 6am to go running. God is so good! He has been helping me wake up (even if I don’t always get up) and this morning He woke me up extra early around 5:15am. When I woke up, I didn’t feel tired at all! It was awesome! So I laid there and talked to God (and fell in and out of sleep twice) until 5:45am.

Then a strange thing happened. Right after I got out of bed Mike says to me, “Don’t run the same route you always take.” I ask him, “What do you mean?” He replies with added emphasis, “Don’t go the same way you always do.” I’m thinking, “Is he awake?” But I couldn’t tell. Then it hit me that this could be from the Lord. It has crossed my mind a few times in the past weeks that it might not be the safest thing to go running in the dark at 6:00 in the morning.

So I get dressed and start warming up and all the while I’m thinking, “Lord, do you not want me to run the same route I normally take?” I wasn’t particularly thrilled about the notion because I had a route already mapped out that was exactly one mile and it was easy for me to measure how far I was running. Then I remembered a dream I had that night. In the dream, I was walking through the Shop ‘n Save parking lot at night when a man attacked me. That pretty much did it for me. I decided to run a different route altogether in the subdivision next to mine. I always run with a flashlight so I can see my watch and so cars can see me. About eight minutes into my run, the batteries went dead.

I didn’t “feel” like I was in danger to run the same route I usually took. I thought that I was probably being paranoid and the Lord wasn’t telling me to run a different route. But I decided that it is better to be safe than sorry so I took into counsel the dream and I heeded Mike’s advice. Right now I am safe and sound back at home and just maybe the Lord saved my life today. Maybe I could have been attacked or kidnapped. Maybe I was going to be hit by a car. I guess I’ll never truly know. However, I really liked my new route! I think I might keep it and alternate routes. God is so good!

The Word of God

Occasionally, during my quiet times, I will hug and even give my Bible a kiss. I know that probably sounds odd; however, at times, the swell of affection inside my heart is so great toward the Word of God and God Himself, that this is the way I feel compelled to express it.

Sometimes reading God’s word is wonderful! It is literally thirst quenching—like taking a drink of ice water on a hot day. Sometimes reading His word is like wrapping oneself in a blanket—peacefully safe and secure. Sometimes when we open the word the verses jump of the page piercing like knives and we just want to cry. And sometimes we read God’s word and we are bored and distracted. Sometimes we read His word and we don’t feel much of anything.

Regardless of our experiences in the Word, there is one thing I know for certain. His Scripture is just as powerful in the times we don’t feel anything as it is when we experience its sharp double-edged sword. God’s power is not limited by the way we feel. We are still being taught even if we are bored or walk away feeling like we didn’t learn anything. His precepts reach down to the inmost parts of our soul even when we think we feel nothing.

This is why we must be faithful to persevere in dry and difficult times and stay in His Word! Because through the Holy Scripture, His Truth does things for us that we don’t even know! In His Word is our life saving subsistence. Without God’s nourishment and care, we die slowly—becoming shriveled, sickly, and weak. We are pale and fading without Him, the Giver and Source of all life.

Here's a little melodrama for ya. :-)

Sometimes, late at night, I can get a little, well, let’s just say melodramatic. I start thinking about things. I start wondering about…life. When is it all going to end? We know that Christ is coming back. The last biblical prophecy that was fulfilled occurred a very long time ago. Jesus and the apostles spoke of the end of the age and that it was “near.”

Near. Hmpf! What does that mean, anyway? That was 2,000 years ago! Now, a thousand years might equal one day to the Lord but in my book, 2,000 years is a very long time and it doesn’t even come remotely close to constituting the definition of the word “near.”

Our church had a prayer service tonight. It was very good even though my heart was indifferent to most of it. I found myself saying, “Andrea! You WILL worship the Lord whether you feel like it or not. It’s not about you! It’s all about Him!” And when a woman began to wail at the foot of His altar like I have never heard someone wail, I was completely caught off guard and questioned, “Lord, is this from you? Is this one of those times where You are moving in someone’s heart and mind or is this one of those times when someone is getting a little too carried away?” And how do I tell the difference? Hmm. Maybe I’m just not spiritually old enough yet. Yes? No? Maybe I just wasn’t walking in the Spirit. Maybe You chose to put a cover over my eyes. Do I get to know?

And apparently someone else spoke in tongues. But did I hear it? Nooooooo! Of course not! Why in the world would I hear something like that? I wonder what it is like to speak in tongues. I don’t think I ever will receive the privilege of knowing, mostly because it takes me long enough just to work up the courage to pray in such large public gatherings much less speak a foreign tongue. And sometimes I don’t work up the courage to do that because I “think” the Lord “might” be telling me to but I’m just not really that sure. I’ll tell you what, sometimes it is exhausting to be so…unsure. And of course, when I do finally work up the nerve, my heart starts pounding and I feel very nervous and then I forget half the things I wanted to pray anyway. Doesn’t sound like something from the Lord, does it?

So, back to the beginning. Where are we in the whole grand scheme of things? Are we 50% of the way there—to Christ’s return that is? Maybe we are only 25% of the way there. Maybe 75%. Or maybe He’s coming back tomorrow. I have had several end time dreams. Isn’t there a verse about old men seeing visions and sons and daughters prophesying? I thought there was something in there about dreaming dreams too. I’ve also experienced very weird sensations. Like, I get this feeling that something big is about to happen. The last time I got this feeling, a few weeks later my life changed radically in just three days. Like, we are talking radical explosive change. This morning, I had a similar feeling, only the feeling wasn’t that something big was about to happen. The feeling was that something big was happening right then. I turned and gazed out the window. Something was happening. I’m sure of it. But then again, things happen all the time don’t they? So what was I sensing…or was it my imagination getting the better of me?

And if I am sensing something, so what? What does that mean? I didn’t know what I was sensing. What is the point of sensing something you know nothing about? I mean, one can hardly pray for such a matter much less do anything about it.
Yeah, so that pretty much sums up how I have been feeling today. Like I said, melodramatic. This working out your salvation in Christ stuff is hard! I know His grace is sufficient. It’s not His grace I question. It’s my response to that grace

The Adventures of Wormwartt

I would like to introduce you to a rather detestable little creature named Wormwartt. You’ll please forgive his name for anything less might fail to attest to the ugly, evil little troll that he is. And he is just that—a troll. This troll, for the want of an appealing home (if you can appealing call wallowing in the mires of a stench-filled waste land where black, bubbling tar pits litter the sad and loathsome ground) has taken up his sorry residence in the unsuspecting and completely undesirable office of one Mike Bond.

Wormwartt usually sleeps in small corners in Mike’s desk. But he spends the majority of his time running around the office wreaking havoc in any annoying way he can. You see, Wormwartt resents his forced residing in the dwelling of one who is so much larger, cleaner, and disgracefully more organized than he that, seething with unintelligible disgust and animosity, it has become his mission in life to conquer and destroy the innocent and (horribly) wonderful Mike Bond.

Wormwartt has already accomplished numerous misgivings on this account. He has successfully kindled the great Dr. Vaughan’s anger toward the young office administrator by deviously erasing important messages that proved key to certain appointments to be kept and letters to be sent. One time Wormwartt shredded valuable evidence in the likes of check stubs needed to prove valid payment that, most unfortunately for Mike, were left lying on his desk. It’s a sad, sad venture for sure but alas! There is some unfairness in all this. One time Wormwartt was in the midst of attempting to physically attack Mike from under the desk when the young office administrator swung around in his chair and caught the ugly little troll by surprise with his shoe. The blow, landing right on Wormwartt’s chinny-chin, sent him flying back smack into the wall of Mike’s desk. Wormwartt lost a tooth in the incident but not to worry, he picked it up and jammed it right back into his rotting gum beside the three other stubs he calls teeth. And, wiping a spatter of green blood from his chin, he furiously shook his fist, “You’ll pay for this, Mike Bond!”

Thus begins the adventures of Wormwartt…stay tuned!

The Monday Blues

Some Mondays I wake up depressed and I just don’t want to get out of bed. Today is one of those days. I don’t know what it is! There is some reason rattling around back in the subconscious of my mind but it has not been made clear to me. All I know is that I don’t want to work, I don’t want to deal with my children, and I just don’t want to face life today.

I guess it doesn’t help that the weather is so drab. If it was bright and sunny and warm, I might not feel so depressed. We could go outside and play and burn off some of this energy from being cooped up inside all day, every day!

Unfortunately on days such as this, I tend to sleep in and not get much work done. Then I feel guilty because I was lazy and not diligent with my time. And that adds to the depression. But then I remind myself that everyone has bad days. Just because I have a bad day does not mean I am a failure. And God is good! It generally only lasts for one day.

But it is hard to grasp a hold of the hope that is His abundant life on days such as these. Depression is like a black hole that sucks all light and joy into it. This is when it becomes imperative for the soul to win out over the flesh. My flesh is weak and will be sucked into that black hole every single time. My soul is strong because of the strength of the Holy Spirit which indwells it. God indwells me! And by His strength and grace alone, I make it through days such as these. Indeed, it is by His grace that I make it through any day but these days get an “especially” put before them!

Praise be to my God and Father for His strength, grace, goodness and the lavishly luxuriant amount of love which He pours over me!

Wrinkles--Bring Them On!

There are women who get “checked out” by men and there are women who don’t. I happen to be one of those women who do. And I won’t pretend that I don’t notice. The other day I was out to lunch with my dad and it was a buffet. On my way to the buffet, this good-looking, probably 30 year old guy was checking me out and making eye contact. When this happens, depending on my mood, I either smile politely or just ignore them altogether. I think this time I ignored him altogether. And he probably lost interest when I later walked by with my four year old. And I felt a swelling sense of pride as I did this, glad to have a defense of some sort.

But this little incident brought a wonderful thought to my mind. One day men will not “check” me out anymore. I will be old and wrinkly and bent over, walking with a cane and I won’t have to suffer the unwelcome gaze of men who aren’t my husband. And I just want to say that the day that happens I will jump for joy! Well, as much as an old lady possibly can. Beauty is fleeting but a woman who fears the Lord, SHE is to be praised. Hallelujah!

I am not afraid of wrinkles! Bring them on! With each wrinkle I am that much closer to meeting my Savior in heaven! AND I CAN’T WAIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

A Home School Myth

You might think this is going to be about how great home schooling is compared to public schooling but it’s not. Instead I am going to talk about a home schooling myth that I personally have been believing. The myth is this: in order to be a good home schooling mom, my children must know how to count to 20 by age three and know all their ABC’s and they must be reading full sentences by age four. They have to have the Pledge of Allegiance and the Declaration of Independence memorized by age five. I must have several hours of schooling planned out for my preschoolers each day and have a disciplined schedule. We have to do things like plant a garden together, draw maps of our neighborhood, dress up like Vikings and go on a canoe trip, go to the park, break out our magnifying glasses and have a detailed science lesson on ants. And if they spend any more than 30 minutes a day, two or three times a week, watching TV, then I have failed miserably.

I was starting to get intimidated and, let me add, very discouraged because I was hearing how great other people’s kids were doing. “So-and-so’s child can read very well and she’s only four years old! Suzy Q’s three year old can count to 30! Jane’s two year old is playing the drums”…and so on and so forth. Then I talked to a very good friend of mine who is much older and wiser than I (thank God for such blessed people!). She told me that many moms get caught up in that home schooling “competitive” spirit. And all her life she has always heard about how so-and-so skipped 1st and 2nd grade and went straight to 3rd and this teenager over here is a Sophomore and she’s taking college courses and this 9th grader over here took the ACT and got a 32 and on and on and on and on.

“Andrea,” she said to me, “Don’t get caught up in it!” She said that each family is different and each mom has different gifts and areas where she excels. Some moms are very gifted when it comes to home schooling and others aren’t. The important thing is not that our children are the smartest and most educated people around but that they grow up to be people of character who love the Lord. The reason we home school is not that our children are educated quantitatively but that they are given quality education that fosters their relationship with the Lord and teaches His values.

With home schooling, my children aren’t going to be teased and laughed at and made fun of. With home schooling, my children won’t be subjected to unbelieving teachers pushing their own agendas. With home schooling, my children are not going to be taught that evolution, feminism, secularism, humanism, emotionalism, environmentalism and all the other “isms” are true. Rather, with home schooling, I am in control of the teachings my children receive and I set the priorities! With home schooling, I can provide a loving and nurturing learning environment where my children can flourish with out the negative influences of “mean” peers. I control who they play with. I decide what curriculum. Lastly, and most importantly, I foster their relationship with God and do my utmost to instill in their little hearts a passion and a zeal for Him. Hallelujah!

And I may not be “Supermom.” I may not be able to do all the things I hear other moms doing. My little one may not grow up to be Einstein. But that is not my goal. My goal is children of character who love the Lord. My children are going to be home schooled because they are going to be the better for it. Period. The Bible tells us not to compare ourselves with ourselves. Thus, my attempt to keep up with the Jones’ is ending right now! As long as I am on the same page with my husband and we are doing what is pleasing in the sight of the Lord, that is all that matters. Amen!

It is not wrong to be "judgmental."

Do you know what? I am tired of hearing Christians accuse other Christians of being “judgmental.” Let’s just get one thing straight, OK? If I am a Christian and you say you are a Christian, I have every right to judge the fruit of your walk in Christ.

If you are hanging out with bad company, if you are getting drunk or smoking or doing drugs, if you are watching things you shouldn’t watch, if you are gossiping or slandering, if you are dressing immodestly, if you are shirking responsibility, if you are rebelling against authority, then I have every right to call you on it. And you don’t get to call me judgmental!

If you are preaching a gospel other than the one we have been given in His word, if you are claiming something that is not biblical, if you are coming against His church or His people, if you are slandering the name of Christ by the way you live your life, if you bring shame to Him rather than glory, then I have every right to judge you!

If you say you are a Christian, and I observe a backward way in you but say nothing, am I loving you? Am I doing my service to you as a sister in Christ if I sit back and let you destroy yourself? It is not wrong for a Christian to judge another Christian if it is done by the standard of God’s word.

“You will know them by their fruits. Grapes are not gathered from thorn bushes, nor figs from thistles, are they? Even so, every good tree bears good fruit; but the bad tree bears bad fruit. A good tree cannot produce bad fruit, nor can a bad tree produce good fruit.” Matthew 7:16-18

“Brethren, even if a man is caught in any trespass, you who are spiritual, restore such a one in a spirit of gentleness; each one looking to yourself lest you too be tempted.” Galatians 6:1

November 22nd Journal Entry, Unedited and Uncut

I received a greater light tonight while praying for my son before bedtime. At the end of my prayer, I prayed that the Lord would put a great love in Logan’s heart for the Living God. As I prayed this I felt God affirming me as His daughter and He let me for a short time experience His fatherly love for me as I have never before felt it.

I have been complaining in my heart a lot lately and ungrateful for my position on this earth. Sometimes I am even resentful of my affluence and religious freedom because I fear that my reward in heaven shall be less because I am not persecuted.

But my Dad in heaven hath shown me that all has been given to me as a gift from Him. He wants me to have it and He is pleased to give it. And I should be thankful for it so long as it is mine because He loves me and wants my happiness. And should I walk around grudgingly and without thankfulness, I am shirking His gift. I am throwing it back in His face and labeling it unacceptable. But, alas! He is the Potter and I, the clay. And the thing molded shall not say to the one who molded it, “Why have you made me like this?” Nor shall the thing made say to its maker, “Why have you placed me here?” For its Maker shall place the vessel wherever He pleases.

And God has placed me here and here I shall follow Him and that with an uncomplaining heart.

What it all comes down to

“I don’t believe in God!” a young man exclaims. “Why not?” I ask. “Where is He?” the young man replies. “I don’t see Him anywhere!”

Many a person does not believe that God exists because they cannot “see” Him. I would have to agree with them. They most certainly are not able to see Him; however, that does not mean that they do not see Him.

The problem with people is that they think that God should be corporeal. They think they should be able to reach out and touch Him. They want Him to walk through the front door and prove that He exists. But alas! God is not a man that He should be limited by a physical body. He is God! He is omniscient and omnipresent. He is in every place at once.

Let me repeat that. He is every place at once! He is right here in my kitchen and on the other side of the world in someone else’s kitchen at the same time! How is this possible, you ask? Well, because He’s God! It is in the very definition of who He is! Anyway, here is my answer to the person who says they don’t see God anywhere:

Sure you do! You see Him all the time! You just don’t recognize Him. Check out this verse in Colossians: “And He is the image of the invisible God, the first-born of all creation. For by Him all things were created, both in the heavens and on earth, visible and invisible, whether thrones or dominions or rulers or authorities—all things have been created by Him and for Him. And He is before all things and in Him all things hold together.” This verse is talking about Jesus. It is important to understand something. Jesus Christ was God in the form of man and He was called the Son of God. And the Bible says that in Him all things hold together.

God does not form the bowl made of clay and then just sit it on the table and walk away. In Him, that clay bowl holds together. God’s hands are always on it holding it together so to speak. I like to think of creation as God’s great tapestry. And throughout His tapestry, God is intricately woven in to it. Without Him, we would not simply break or shatter—we would cease. We cannot exist apart from our Creator. So you want to know where He is? Look around. You see the walls of your home or the grass and trees outside, but you only see the surface. He’s there! “For since the creation of the world His invisible attributes, His eternal power and divine nature, have been clearly seen, being understood through what has been made…” Romans 1:20

Have you ever had an experience where you were thinking about someone and wondering how they were because you hadn’t seen them in forever? And then you run into them at the grocery store the next day or better yet, they call you because they were thinking about you too? You call this coincidence but I am telling you there is no such thing! That is God almighty! You just don’t see it because you call it something else! You have labeled it wrong! God has a reason for everything. Nothing happens without purpose.

Have you ever missed being in a car accident by the skin of your teeth? Have you ever found something precious that you thought you had lost? Have you ever known something by instinct that you couldn’t have possibly known? You call it luck, but I’m telling you, THERE IS NO SUCH THING! It’s Him! And He’s letting you know that He exists all the time! You just aren’t paying attention!

God wants you to know how much He loves you. He has a great purpose for your life. You are precious to Him. So precious, in fact, that He sent His only Son to die on the cross for your sins. It is God’s desire for you to be reconciled to Him forever. Have you ever accepted Jesus as your Savior? You can do it today! All you have to do is tell Him out loud: “Jesus, please forgive my sin. Please come into my life and save me. I realize that nothing I can do will save me but it is only by Your death on the cross. Please come into my life and show me the great purpose that You have for me. Help me to turn away from sin and to live a holy and pleasing life before You. In Jesus’ name, I pray. Amen.”

A Nation Divided

When I heard that Amendment 2 passed, I cried. I cried because I lamented all of the lives that would be lost in the name of medical advancement. I was upset that Claire McCaskill won over Jim Talent in the Senate because of the repercussions that our children and their children will have to suffer due to the decisions that she will make. It is very tempting to despair over such things especially when it seems like we are losing battle after battle. The democrats now hold the Senate as well as the House. It’s depressing, really. But strangely, I am not depressed.

Wednesday, November 8, 2006 when I awoke I cried over Amendment 2. However, my sorrow ended with that cry. God’s peace washed over me. He told me that this turn of events was from Him, that He might accomplish His good purpose. As soon as He told me this I quickly became excited. I am excited to see His hand in this unfortunate turn of events. I am excited to see what He will do! I rest fully assured that He is in complete control! I rest knowing that Claire McCaskill and the Democrats are not the victors here. They are in office because God has orchestrated it and He will use it for good.

So I know that God is in control and I also know something else. This country is split right down its very center. So many of the races this past Tuesday were extremely close. McCaskill won with 51% of the vote! That is barely over half! The other half voted for Talent! The same thing happened with Amendment 2. And the Democrats hold the Senate and House but only by a few! Split right down the middle—give or take! This nation is divided. And we all know what the Bible says about a nation that is divided.

Bad Day

So…today is very hard. I started my first “lessons” with my two boys today. It didn’t go as great as I thought it should. Logan wasn’t really interested in his activity. It might have had something to do with the workmen who were here to install a radon mitigation system in our basement. All he wanted to do was stand outside and talk to them. But I couldn’t allow him to bombard these poor unsuspecting strangers with his usual game of 100 questions in ten minutes. Instead, I let him bombard me.

Mom, can I have this? Mom, can I have that? Mom, can I play video games? Mom, can I go outside? But I just want to talk with the workers! Mom, will you play with me? Mom, will you help me put the choo-choo track together? Mom, what’s this? What do you do with it? Why? How come? Mom, I’m hungry! Can I have some candy? When will my lunch be ready? Mom, I’m hungry. After I have lunch, can I have some candy? Mom! Mom! Mom! Mom! Mom! Mom!..........AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Oh and this isn’t even the half of it. And Job has been very whiny all morning. And I just want to pull out my hair! Maybe I would if I didn’t have a headache. It’s not a horrible headache but it’s just enough to cause me added stress.

Also, the ringing in my ear is worse. I’m pretty sure it is because I had so much diet coke last Friday. Ever since, the ringing has become louder. I have Tinnitis in my ears and a partial hearing loss because of it and drinking caffeine irritates it and apparently can make it worse!

On the bright side, we no longer have poisonous radon gas pouring into our home and I was able to share gospel tracks with the two men who came to put in the system! Pretty cool!

Reality Check!

It just crossed my mind yesterday…I am 16 years old. I live an impoverished life in Cuba. My family is desperately in need of food. I run into a gentleman at the market who is in need of women to work as maids in a hotel in the States. He says that with the money that I would make I can support my family. I agree to go over. In total ignorance I am sucked in. For soon I find out that I am not to work in a hotel at all but, rather, I am now one of their new slave prostitutes being smuggled illegally into the country. I have no rights. I am not free. I cannot escape. I am beaten and raped and used.

Now I am 12 years old. I live in Africa. My dad makes 30 dollars a month to provide for our family. Our housing consists of a grass hut and our food of rice. I go to the nearby pond to draw water for drinking. Little do I know that a worm will enter my body. It will nest in my stomach and, at the end of one year, emerge through a blister that will form on my abdomen. The experience will be agonizing and the worm will twist its way through my body and grow up to 3 feet long. It will wrap itself around the muscles in my leg constricting them like a Boa does its prey. I will have to get medical help from the nearby facility run by people from another country. It will take many days of pulling the worm out inch by inch before I will be cured.

Now I am a baby girl in China. I was just born a few days ago! There’s only one problem. My mother doesn’t love me. She doesn’t want me because I’m not a boy. So I am sent to live in an orphanage with hundreds of other girls whose parents don’t love them either. I am small and utterly vulnerable. No one holds me. No one sings to me.
No one loves me. They think I won’t remember. They don’t know how wrong they are. This will scar me for life.

Now I am 26 years old. I live in America. I am a stay-at-home mom. I live in a $150,000 house that has air conditioning, heat, electricity, clean running water. I get to shower every day if I feel like it. I have food galore. I am well educated. I have a soft queen sized bed to sleep in and down pillows in which to sink my head every night. I am rich beyond my wildest dreams and I don’t even know it. I have a wonderful husband who loves and respects me. Sometimes my children drive me crazy. Sometimes I tire of cleaning the same rooms over and over day in and day out. Sometimes I have a bad attitude because I feel that my life is hard and unfair. I gripe and complain when I am having a bad day because things just aren’t going my way.

O how I need a reality check! Or maybe a change of perspective! I gripe and complain like I live in a third world country. I whine like an unloved baby! But nothing could be further from the truth!

The Exile from Eden: God's Gift to Man

How can a good and loving God allow death to reign in this world? This question seems to come up a lot. Why does God let people die? Doesn’t He care? I hear people say they don’t believe in God because if He existed, He wouldn’t allow bad things such as death to occur. God is good, after all. Death is bad. A good God would not allow death which is bad. Therefore, there is no God.

O contraire, ye who hath little understanding of who God is! Consider this: death is actually the best thing that could have happened to man next to Jesus’ saving death on the cross. Here’s why: remember what happened in the Garden of Eden? God gave Adam and Eve permission to eat of any tree in the garden except one, the tree of the knowledge of good and evil. Of this tree God commanded Adam and Eve not to eat. He said, “When you eat of this tree you shall surely die.” Well, we all know the story. Satan deceived Eve, she ate of the tree and Adam followed. Thus, sin entered the world.

SIN entered the world. Let’s think about that for a minute. Murder. Theft. Vandalism. Hatred. Slander. Gossip. Drunkenness. Adultery. Fornication. Debauchery. Selfishness. Etc. And along with sin came PAIN—the big four letter word. No one likes pain. It is the consequence of sin. Thus, we live in a world filled with sin and lots of pain. This is why God exiled Adam from the garden. Not only did the garden house the tree of the knowledge of good and evil but it also housed another tree, the tree of life. We don’t hear about this tree very often, but it is very important. You see, if Adam and Eve would have eaten of this tree, they would have lived forever and that in their fallen state.

“Then the Lord God said, “Behold, the man has become like one of Us, knowing good and evil; and now, lest he stretch out his hand, and take also from the tree of life, and eat, and live forever”—therefore the Lord God sent him out from the garden of Eden, to cultivate the ground from which he was taken. So He drove the man out; and at the east of the garden of Eden He stationed the cherubim, and the flaming sword which turned every direction, to guard the way to the tree of life.” Genesis 3:22-24

Death is actually a great act of mercy from our heavenly Father. That He would care enough to not allow us to continue on forever in a world filled with great horrors and heart wrenching pain, speaks to the goodness of the God that He is. God is good. He loves us very much. Therefore, He allows us to die that we may be free from this wretched life. And assuming we have embraced His goodness and loved His good way, we will live forever in the loving arms of our Father and know peace and fulfilling love like we have never known it. If we reject Him, then He allows us to be separated from Him for all eternity. God is more than fair. If we want nothing to do with Him in this life, then He gives us our heart’s desire in the next—eternity without Him.

The Reign of My Heart

A chilling wind breaks over the rolling hill that is my backyard. Rustling the leaves it sways here and there. It is not known where it has come from and it cannot be said where it will go. The overcast sky, while monotonous and uninteresting, has been pouring rain nonstop all day. The rain pours the same with in my soul. I am not particularly fond of days like this when they mirror the condition of my heart.

I am heart sick. “Hope deferred makes the heart sick…” I wish my heart would stop hoping! How much pain is enough? How much more of the throbbing and the aching must I endure? My mind is fed up! I have had enough!

There is a brokenness inside me, you see. I am all too well acquainted with its symptoms and not at all inclined to say I know its source. Pain and agony is the way and frustration is the game. My mind and my heart just aren’t seeing eye to eye on this one. My mind is ready to be free this instant while my heart wants to keep holding on much like the raccoon who, with his arm caught in the trap, could be free if only he would open his paw and let go of the bait.

But just like the stubborn raccoon who will not let go even though his life depends upon it, so my heart is steadfastly wrapped around an ideal that can never be. No matter what amount of disappointment I experience, no matter how great the affliction, still my heart will not succumb. O how I feel trapped with in myself! The heart’s pull is great and many a time have I been sucked in. I WANT TO BE FREE! This is the cry of my soul! Lord Jesus, have mercy and heal me!

“For we know that the Law is spiritual; but I am of flesh, sold into bondage to sin. For that which I am doing, I do not understand; for I am not practicing what I would like to do, but I am doing the very thing I hate. But if I do the very thing I do not wish to do, I agree with the Law, confessing that it is good. So now, no longer am I the one doing it, but sin which indwells me. For I know that nothing good dwells in me, that is, in my flesh, for the wishing is present in me, but the doing of the good is not. For the good that I wish, I do not do; but I practice the very evil that I do not wish.” Romans 7:14-19

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