Here's a little melodrama for ya. :-)

Sometimes, late at night, I can get a little, well, let’s just say melodramatic. I start thinking about things. I start wondering about…life. When is it all going to end? We know that Christ is coming back. The last biblical prophecy that was fulfilled occurred a very long time ago. Jesus and the apostles spoke of the end of the age and that it was “near.”

Near. Hmpf! What does that mean, anyway? That was 2,000 years ago! Now, a thousand years might equal one day to the Lord but in my book, 2,000 years is a very long time and it doesn’t even come remotely close to constituting the definition of the word “near.”

Our church had a prayer service tonight. It was very good even though my heart was indifferent to most of it. I found myself saying, “Andrea! You WILL worship the Lord whether you feel like it or not. It’s not about you! It’s all about Him!” And when a woman began to wail at the foot of His altar like I have never heard someone wail, I was completely caught off guard and questioned, “Lord, is this from you? Is this one of those times where You are moving in someone’s heart and mind or is this one of those times when someone is getting a little too carried away?” And how do I tell the difference? Hmm. Maybe I’m just not spiritually old enough yet. Yes? No? Maybe I just wasn’t walking in the Spirit. Maybe You chose to put a cover over my eyes. Do I get to know?

And apparently someone else spoke in tongues. But did I hear it? Nooooooo! Of course not! Why in the world would I hear something like that? I wonder what it is like to speak in tongues. I don’t think I ever will receive the privilege of knowing, mostly because it takes me long enough just to work up the courage to pray in such large public gatherings much less speak a foreign tongue. And sometimes I don’t work up the courage to do that because I “think” the Lord “might” be telling me to but I’m just not really that sure. I’ll tell you what, sometimes it is exhausting to be so…unsure. And of course, when I do finally work up the nerve, my heart starts pounding and I feel very nervous and then I forget half the things I wanted to pray anyway. Doesn’t sound like something from the Lord, does it?

So, back to the beginning. Where are we in the whole grand scheme of things? Are we 50% of the way there—to Christ’s return that is? Maybe we are only 25% of the way there. Maybe 75%. Or maybe He’s coming back tomorrow. I have had several end time dreams. Isn’t there a verse about old men seeing visions and sons and daughters prophesying? I thought there was something in there about dreaming dreams too. I’ve also experienced very weird sensations. Like, I get this feeling that something big is about to happen. The last time I got this feeling, a few weeks later my life changed radically in just three days. Like, we are talking radical explosive change. This morning, I had a similar feeling, only the feeling wasn’t that something big was about to happen. The feeling was that something big was happening right then. I turned and gazed out the window. Something was happening. I’m sure of it. But then again, things happen all the time don’t they? So what was I sensing…or was it my imagination getting the better of me?

And if I am sensing something, so what? What does that mean? I didn’t know what I was sensing. What is the point of sensing something you know nothing about? I mean, one can hardly pray for such a matter much less do anything about it.
Yeah, so that pretty much sums up how I have been feeling today. Like I said, melodramatic. This working out your salvation in Christ stuff is hard! I know His grace is sufficient. It’s not His grace I question. It’s my response to that grace

The Adventures of Wormwartt

I would like to introduce you to a rather detestable little creature named Wormwartt. You’ll please forgive his name for anything less might fail to attest to the ugly, evil little troll that he is. And he is just that—a troll. This troll, for the want of an appealing home (if you can appealing call wallowing in the mires of a stench-filled waste land where black, bubbling tar pits litter the sad and loathsome ground) has taken up his sorry residence in the unsuspecting and completely undesirable office of one Mike Bond.

Wormwartt usually sleeps in small corners in Mike’s desk. But he spends the majority of his time running around the office wreaking havoc in any annoying way he can. You see, Wormwartt resents his forced residing in the dwelling of one who is so much larger, cleaner, and disgracefully more organized than he that, seething with unintelligible disgust and animosity, it has become his mission in life to conquer and destroy the innocent and (horribly) wonderful Mike Bond.

Wormwartt has already accomplished numerous misgivings on this account. He has successfully kindled the great Dr. Vaughan’s anger toward the young office administrator by deviously erasing important messages that proved key to certain appointments to be kept and letters to be sent. One time Wormwartt shredded valuable evidence in the likes of check stubs needed to prove valid payment that, most unfortunately for Mike, were left lying on his desk. It’s a sad, sad venture for sure but alas! There is some unfairness in all this. One time Wormwartt was in the midst of attempting to physically attack Mike from under the desk when the young office administrator swung around in his chair and caught the ugly little troll by surprise with his shoe. The blow, landing right on Wormwartt’s chinny-chin, sent him flying back smack into the wall of Mike’s desk. Wormwartt lost a tooth in the incident but not to worry, he picked it up and jammed it right back into his rotting gum beside the three other stubs he calls teeth. And, wiping a spatter of green blood from his chin, he furiously shook his fist, “You’ll pay for this, Mike Bond!”

Thus begins the adventures of Wormwartt…stay tuned!

The Monday Blues

Some Mondays I wake up depressed and I just don’t want to get out of bed. Today is one of those days. I don’t know what it is! There is some reason rattling around back in the subconscious of my mind but it has not been made clear to me. All I know is that I don’t want to work, I don’t want to deal with my children, and I just don’t want to face life today.

I guess it doesn’t help that the weather is so drab. If it was bright and sunny and warm, I might not feel so depressed. We could go outside and play and burn off some of this energy from being cooped up inside all day, every day!

Unfortunately on days such as this, I tend to sleep in and not get much work done. Then I feel guilty because I was lazy and not diligent with my time. And that adds to the depression. But then I remind myself that everyone has bad days. Just because I have a bad day does not mean I am a failure. And God is good! It generally only lasts for one day.

But it is hard to grasp a hold of the hope that is His abundant life on days such as these. Depression is like a black hole that sucks all light and joy into it. This is when it becomes imperative for the soul to win out over the flesh. My flesh is weak and will be sucked into that black hole every single time. My soul is strong because of the strength of the Holy Spirit which indwells it. God indwells me! And by His strength and grace alone, I make it through days such as these. Indeed, it is by His grace that I make it through any day but these days get an “especially” put before them!

Praise be to my God and Father for His strength, grace, goodness and the lavishly luxuriant amount of love which He pours over me!

Wrinkles--Bring Them On!

There are women who get “checked out” by men and there are women who don’t. I happen to be one of those women who do. And I won’t pretend that I don’t notice. The other day I was out to lunch with my dad and it was a buffet. On my way to the buffet, this good-looking, probably 30 year old guy was checking me out and making eye contact. When this happens, depending on my mood, I either smile politely or just ignore them altogether. I think this time I ignored him altogether. And he probably lost interest when I later walked by with my four year old. And I felt a swelling sense of pride as I did this, glad to have a defense of some sort.

But this little incident brought a wonderful thought to my mind. One day men will not “check” me out anymore. I will be old and wrinkly and bent over, walking with a cane and I won’t have to suffer the unwelcome gaze of men who aren’t my husband. And I just want to say that the day that happens I will jump for joy! Well, as much as an old lady possibly can. Beauty is fleeting but a woman who fears the Lord, SHE is to be praised. Hallelujah!

I am not afraid of wrinkles! Bring them on! With each wrinkle I am that much closer to meeting my Savior in heaven! AND I CAN’T WAIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!